After a few weeks of an increasing feeling unease and distance from my life (that I am normally very passionate about), I got my joy of
life back.
I’m finishing reading “Your Money or Your Life” by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin. The book is being ready by the Woman’s Money Group I meet with monthly. This was the same group that I read Suze Orman’s “Women and Money” book with. I give both these books my gratitude for educating me on personal finance as well as to live and work smarter.
If you follow my blog, you understand that I’ve had a hard time transitioning from a good-paying job that also represented my identity. I believe the position as Campaign Director illustrated my intelligence and capabilities. When I mentioned that I was part of a team that fundraised hundreds of millions of dollars, I felt awe for what I helped achieve. And then I became a stay-at-home mom.
This new mom role was my dream life since forever. Yet it didn’t have the same glamour or respect that I believed my other J-O-B gave me. Even recently I found myself referencing “who I once once” versus my new role as “just a housewife”. And then I read “Your Money or Your Life”. I honestly don’t think I am going to be disappointed or feel redundant in my present life again.
Dominguez and Robin write “when you break the conceptual link between work and money, you give yourself the opportunity to discover what your true work is. …You may experience a moment (or 3.5 years as in my case) a panic at the emptiness left by even this temporary suspension as your identity-as-your-job. But there are other you’s … of your own life’s work.” (page 246). I don’t know how they pegged it so well, but somebody understands and has made clear to me what has been going on with my identity shift these past few years. Thank you!
With my home daycare, I have been adding more kids to the mix up to the legal maximum because I liked the “I don’t know how you do it” statements; not reverently stated, more like “I am so glad that isn’t me”. I knew I was doing it to be able to afford to stay home to raise our children with our morals and values, but once again Dominguez and Robin gave it more exactly!. “If you chose to work more …at your paid employment, you would do it only for good reason, since you place a high value on your life energy” (page 247-248). I am doing it to support our values, to get out of debt and develop savings so we can be secure no matter the economic climate plus to become financially independent.
Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to be a teacher. I now realise that working with the extra children in the home daycare is my “connection to serve my (financial and life’s) purpose” (page 248). I want “more money so that I can have more freedom to be (my)self without worrying about money” (page 249).
I am embracing more clients (and more money), “not out of greed or competition but out of self respect and an appreciation of life” to find myself with less debt, more savings, a more satisfied family and more peace of mind” (page 258).
My life, once again, feels purposeful.
14 Comments
Hm, this is very thought provoking. Thank you for sharing it with your SITStahs!
Sounds like a good book with words of wisdom. Good for you for taking the more difficult path that will definitely have more lasting benefits for you and your kiddos. You can't take the money or belongings with you when you die…but I do believe in a life after death and that families can be together forever. Nice investment!
stopping by from SITS. I'm a nurse by trade and am now staying home with the kids, so I know how that feels!
I'm definitely going to have to check out that book. Happy SITS Day!
Sounds like you found an excellent stop along your journey! Thanks for sharing your story.
{{ stopping by from SITS }}
Great post. Came over from SITS, and I am so glad I did! 🙂
Great post. I found the transition from full-time worker to mom/stay-at-home mom to mom/work-at home mom hard. There's so much tied up in how we identify ourselves in terms of career and work. Thanks for sharing your story!
I read that book a while back. Such an eye opener! Happy SITS day!
Congrats in takimg such a tough step to stay home. Came over from sits.
Michelle
http://www.normalchaosforamultitaskmom.blogspot.com
Love this post! Describes some of the challenges that I have met through the transition of working to staying at home and redefining my purpose. Happy SITS day!
Love this post! Describes some of the struggles I have had transitioning from "making lots of money" to staying at home and now redefining my "purpose." Thank you for articulating so beautifully and happy SITS day!
That's such a great quote. I love it!
If you are inspired by this summary, you should read the book. Very rewarding and many nuggets of wisdom.
Yep, fantastic book. It made me think (and rethink) some things in my life. Visiting from SITS. I hope you thoroughly enjoyed your SITS Day!