Let’s face it, we all get into a rut at some point. Marriage has been going very well for my husband and I (speaking for myself here) but with two young children who demand our constant attention, it is easy to put each other last. I found some interesting ideas at Men’s Health on falling back in love with your spouse. I’m marking some highlights but check out the full article here.
If you feel your relationship may be in peril, try this strategy: Fall back in love. It can be done. In fact, 64 percent of couples who were verging on breaking up but who stuck with their marriages found their way back to conjugal happiness within a few years, according to an Institute of American Values study.
Marriage Stressor #1: Your nerves are frayed
Your Fix: Eat late. Take time to unwind after you arrive home by doing what you want to do, instead of diving right into dinner.
Marriage Stressor #2: You’re misreading each other
Your Fix: Stop dreaming about alternatives. If you’re always wondering just how much happier you’d be with a wife who “didn’t act like that” or who really understood you, stop focusing on alternatives. “Constantly visualizing ideal spouses makes you less happy because it creates more potential for unproductive desire or regret,” says marriage therapist Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., author of The Marriage Makeover.
Marriage Stressor #3: You’re on the wrong side of the libido gap
Your Fix: Touch without the turn-on.
Marriage Stressor #4: You’re seeing too much of each other
Your Fix: Wrangle your buds. The best way to improve your outlook is to go out with friends-organize an after-work happy hour, hit the bar for Monday Night Football. If setting up your own event isn’t your style, home in on a group identity by joining a rec league or political committee. Being part of a group can enhance a sense of belonging that could be a buffer against marital dissatisfaction, according to Louise Hawkley, Ph.D., the associate director of the University of Chicago’s social neuroscience lab.
Marriage Stressor #5: You’re ignoring the little things
Your Fix: Schedule sacrifice. Write down a few things you know your partner likes, and set a reminder on your smart phone to do one of those things each week. If, on the other hand, you think you’re the one who’s sacrificing more, analyze the situation.
